Mental Model Creation
You can live a very happy life without ever digging into why you believe what you believe and why you make the choices you make. Yet, you are operating from a mental model. So does every author, coach and therapist. When you’re not sure how to choose a book, a practitioner or simply an approach for yourself, drawing your mental model can be very useful.
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Mapping your mind visually
Your mental model consists of your beliefs as well as how you perceive your current state and your potential. It’s a schematic representation of how thoughts, feelings, actions, beliefs and abilities relate to each other. But also where in this model is the best place to make a change of some sort.
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1. A simple mental model
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2. Including the Beliefs we hold
On a high level, this model might be correct, but not really be complete. In addition, for example, thought is based on perception, perceptions is based on beliefs, and beliefs are based on conditioning through either experience ('if I do x, then y will happen') or information about how the world works. The model then looks like this:
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3.​ Including the State we are in
But, as you know, our perception is also not always the same. For example, we perceive the same circumstances quite differently when we’re relaxed from when we’re stressed. So, we include that in the model as well, like this:
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4. Including Intuition and Ratio
While emotions might often inspire behavior, you might not always want to behave upon your emotions. Or you might – that depends on your beliefs. But some people prefer to, for example, act upon their intuition or ratio, despite their emotion. We can put that in our mental model, like this:
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5. Including Discomfort tolerance
But wanting to resist the emotional impulse is one thing. Being able to do it is something else. Again, this might be easier when you were relaxed to begin with. However, it also matters how well you can absorb discomfort. In our example model, here's how that looks:
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6. Including Trauma
Some people may never relax, because traumatic experiences have been keeping them in a fight-flight state. Their nervous system is in survival mode, which also affects the thoughts and emotions that arise. In our example below, the body and the mind reconfirm each other in the experience of danger, which is often not real, but trigger the whole system into new negative experiences.
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7. Including effects of our actual Behavioral
Whether we behave according to our intention affects our self-image. Our behavior is also linked to our physiology, especially our tension level. Emotional outbursts can release a lot of tension, but could also also triggers unpleasant things. There are other ways to deal with tension as well as to fully process emotions. In some models, this is the key element.
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8. Determining your focus area (example 1)
For each element in the chain of a model, there are options for self-development. If it works, this might have benefits across the entire model. For example, if you find a breathing technique that helps you relax, it could indirectly change your behavior in such a way that how you behave improves your self-image and relaxes you even further – a positive feedback loop.
9. Determining your focus area (example 2)
If you’re already relaxed, but have a low self-image, you need another solution. But, which one? You can use your model for comparing the various approaches to improving your self-image. You translate them in terms of your model. For example, one might come down to, “if you take brave action, your self-image will improve”. Another might translate to, “if you focus on your qualities and not your failures, your self-image improves”. In that model, “attention” is important.
10. Determining your focus area (example 3)
When you look at the arguments for those models, you’ll feel more attracted to one and you can try in practice if the results are as expected. If so, great! If not, you can look into other ideas or have your own theory. For example, you might feel that the key is becoming authentic and you work on that.
Bottom Line
This is an example of how your model evolves and gets stronger and stronger, because you don’t just wander from one fad to the other or get stuck endlessly with an approach that doesn’t deliver what it promises.
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Some of you have more complex models, with other dimensions, reincarnation or rule sets from certain religions or philosophies. The trick is to try to make it as simple as possible by focusing on the question: “what result am I after and how do I feel that such a result comes about?”.
It could be useful to select a book that challenges your beliefs, but that should be on purpose. In many cases, you'll want to select a book (or practitioner) that aligns well with your core beliefs or else the practical advice will evoke internal conflicts, internal resistance and low motivation within you (the real reason why many efforts don't produce any results).
Therapies can also be translated into conceptual models like your own mental model. For example, psychoanalysis is about making unconscious beliefs conscious. REBT is about changing irrational beliefs into rational ones. Somatic Experiencing is primarily focused on getting your nervous system in a relaxed state. None of them are black and white approaches, but knowing the main differences can be helpful.
Here’s a list of other questions that can help you determine your mental model. Now, for some topics of self-development, like parenting, there’ll also be specific beliefs important for your model, such as the level of autonomy you feel a child should have. In other words, this model or this list can’t ever be complete. It’s to help you get started. But, don’t fear: it’s not rocket science.
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Create your own model
What you'll see, is that much of your mental model hinges on one particular belief you hold: your idea about the nature of consciousness.
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What are you and where did you originate, and why? No one has proof, but everyone has an assumption about it. One that determines your ideas about the meaning of life about how to become happy and therefore in how you make decisions between long term and short term benefits. Yet, most people never gave it much thought, if any at all. Most people aren't even familiar with the options on a high level.
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If you do decide to make a mental model, we recommend you take at least 5 minutes to familiarize yourself with the broad categories, before getting into the details of your model. Make sure you understand how each has a different idea about the nature of consciousness and how it translates into differences in how we should live.
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The Deistic model (~44% of world's population)
The universe and consciousness are created by a god. Right and wrong are defined by this god and whenever a person fails to live up to the standards, then some penance is required. The highest quality of life comes from living up to god’s standards.
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The Atheistic model (~10% of world's population)
Consciousness is something that emerged from evolving complexity of the brain after billions of years of evolution. When the body dies, the process ends and the process of consciousness ends with it. Thus there are is no meaning of life and there is no morality. The highest quality of life comes from finding your personal sweet spot of balancing short term and long term excitement, using logic and science as perhaps the most important tools.
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The Spiritual model (~22% of world's population)
People operating from this model see consciousness as an individual soul that’s on a journey of multiple incarnations. These souls are all connected though. They share the idea of a karmic balance over all incarnations; fairness is rewarded and unfairness is punished. The highest quality of life comes from being fair, kind and serving the greater good.
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The Non-Dual model (~24% of world's population)
In such a model, the perceived self is considered to be an illusion. The purpose of life is to overcome that illusion and then entirely surrender to your intuitive drives. Only, the double bind here is that the illusory self can't decide to surrender, for this would reinforce the illusion. It's a journey of paradoxes. The highest quality of life comes from quasi-surrendering and trusting that doing what you then cannot not do will be enough for real surrender to happen by itself – even if that's an extremely unspiritual or extremely spiritual lifestyle.
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Do you really understand the difference between those 4 models regarding the nature of consciousness. Most people struggle to understand the difference between the spiritual and the non-dual model. If that's the case, the following distinction might help you:
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Deistic model: Consciousness exists in the Universe
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Atheistic model: Consciousness exists in the Universe
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Spiritual model: Consciousness exists in the Universe
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Non-Dual model: The Universe exists in Consciousness
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We urge you again to make sure you understand all the models. For most people, the non-dual model is the one they are unfamiliar with, even though it's at the core of the major sects of Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, Sufism and various other wisdom traditions. If you like to read more about the idea, the arguments, the implications or the methods, follow the link. Below are a few quotes from authors you might not have expected to operate from a non-dual model.
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General questions for your mental model
About your Beliefs
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What do you believe is the meaning of life? And why?
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What is your purpose in life?
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What’s the key to happiness (for you)?
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What affects success? Does mindset somehow play a role?
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How to make decisions when in doubt?
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Is reincarnation real to you? If so, how is it relevant for decisions?
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Is there a god? If not, Materialism or not? If not, impermanent soul? Or is ego an illusion? (Read more why this often matters)
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What’s required for big changes? Just willpower or is there more to it?
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Mind over matter? (Read more to make up your mind)
About your Self-image
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What’s your potential, given your motivation?
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Do you present yourself unrealistically low or high due to self-esteem issues?
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You feel you’re capable of big change?
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About your Model
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What do you feel is the relation between thoughts, emotions, behavior and beliefs?
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What element(s) to focus on?
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How do the elements feed back to each other?
About Perception
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Do failed attempts motivate or demotivate you?
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Do you spend more attention on positive or negative aspects of situations?
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Is your feeling more affected by the big picture, current affairs or the opportunities? And do you often switch?
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Do circumstances affect feeling or vice versa?
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Is the self real of illusion?
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Conceptual as real?
About States (that affect your potential)
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Is being able to access the subconscious state relevant? If so, can you?
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Is your nervous system usually in a calm state or tensed?
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Is ego awakening relevant? If so, have you?
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Is kundalini awakening relevant? If so, have you?
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Feel safe?
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Feel belonging?
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In what shape are you physically, in terms of nutrition levels and toxin levels?
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Do you have a lot of unprocessed emotions stored in your body?
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HRV, L+R
Relevant skills (your abilities in these areas possibly determine your potential)
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Logical reasoning
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Regulation of emotions
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Listening
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Acknowledging
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Failing gracefully
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Intuition
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Concentration
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Visualization
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Supernatural abilities
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Self-Development without Books
This page is part of our free 3+1 tools section for achieving 80%-100% of the results most people try to get by buying and reading self-development books and courses. The other elements are:
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