Self-Development without Books
There are many good self-development books. However, most of these books require the same basic skills before they become truly effective for the reader. This page contains a list of the skills and links to their more detailed instructions pages.
​
​
Basic Self-Development Skills
Zooming out from researching 10+ categories, it seems that the easiest way to achieve perhaps 80-100% of all results people desire when they read self-development books (80/20 rule) would be to just increase your:
​
1. Self-Knowledge (& Open Mindedness)
Many people seem to engage in books and practices that cancel each other out. When you sit down and write down your beliefs about happiness and your desires, causality, the meaning of life, your preferences and purpose, you can get to a logically consistent mental model and can act upon it. Then, based on the results, you update the model and get better and better results.
2. Discomfort Tolerance
When we don't act upon what we believe, it's usually because we want to avoid discomfort. Some easy (and fun) discomfort exposure exercises can change our belief and perception about the need to avoid discomfort at all costs.
3. Mindset Basics
If we get discouraged from our inability to change instantly (which naturally takes time), have a habit of focusing on negative aspects (which is a choice), don't frame our actions with our purpose (which could be a habit), then any approach to self-development will take longer than necessary.
​
​
​
DIY Self-Development
With these skills, you at least know what suits you, won’t get discouraged when results are not instant (which they hardly ever can be) and be okay with the discomfort that is always part of a growth path.
While appearing generic, these skills have the potential to make you more confident, a better parent, more authentic, more creative and give you more clarity. Sure, there would still remain a lot to learn about the patterns in the dynamics of parenting, trauma resolution, dating, spiritual growth, finances and what have you. But, as far as they still affect you, they would be much easier to master with the 3+1 basic skills more developed.
​
In this section of the website, some free tools are provided for each of the 3+1 elements.
​​​​​​
​​​​​