Coaching Guide
Selecting the right coach can be challenging. However, with only some basic knowledge about coaching, it already becomes a lot more easy.
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Finding yourself a coach who gets you
There is no one best coaching style in general. But, there is one for you. Here's a common division of coaching styles:
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Solution-oriented coaching
Focuses on the future by looking at the opportunities of the current situation
(e.g. Positive psychology to shift focus to positive aspects, but also making suggestions for exploration)​
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Insight-oriented coaching
Reveals and resolves blind spots that create inner-conflict with questions and listening
(e.g. Socratic questioning, which means asking questions until inconsistencies arise that the client then becomes aware of)
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Problem-oriented coaching
Focuses on finding ways for making the client fully acknowledge the problem, such as a client downplaying the addiction they involved a coach for
(e.g. surprise them by telling you agree they are just fine and don't need coaching, so they start convincing the coach that there is a problem)
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Person-oriented coaching
Non-directive counseling with a goal to increase confidence and self-worth
(e.g. Rogerian counseling, which essentially is non-judgemental listening and showing empathy without probing into solutions unless the client goes there)
This overlaps greatly with John Heron's six categories of coaching interventions:
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Like with books or therapists, it helps to know the baseline style of a coach. Some coaches are not comfortable with all styles. They might even disagree with one or more styles. This is good to know about a coach. Some coaches disagree in a veiled way by saying that "too much of style x" is not effective. This requires an explanation what exactly is "too much" in their opinion, as too much of anything is undesirable. Keep that in mind when you have an intake session with a coach.
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One of the most defining qualities as a coach is noticing when to shift gears. A client should feel safe but also safe enough to drop their guard – the coping strategies and inauthentic behavioral patterns. Sometimes this works best by just listening while other times a client needs to have inconsistencies pointed out to them.
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Besides insights and emotional processing, coaches can also play a role in the implementation of new behavioral patterns in real life. This is more commonly referred to as life coaching. It provides structure, motivation and feedback.
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You can involve a coach for most of the areas in self-development we have analyzed. The difference between a coach and a therapist is often hard to define, but usually comes down to coaches having less emphasis on the past – working through past experiences – and more on the future. Before involving a life coach in a specific area of your life, like mindset change, parenting or social skills, make sure your mental models align well.
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